Don’t argue with your
husband; do whatever he tells you, and obey all orders.
Don’t worry him for money,
and don’t expect a new dress oftener than he offers to buy you one.
Don’t sit up till he comes
home from the club; better be in bed, and pretend to be asleep. If you must be
awake, seem to be glad he came home so early. He’ll probably think you an
idiot; but that’s evitable anyway.
Don’t grumble at him
because he takes no notice of baby; men weren’t built to take notice of baby.
Don’t mope and cry because
you are ill, and don’t get any fun; the man goes out to get all the fun, and
your laugh comes when he gets home again and tells you all about it- some of
it. As for being ill, women should never be ill.
Don’t be mad because he
smokes in bed, and goes into the best room with his dirty boots; your’s is the
only house in which he can do these things, and you musn’t be disagreeable.
Don’t talk to him of his
mother-in-law; he’ll like it better if you talk to him of yours.
Don’t give him hash for
dinner; eat the hash yourself, and get him green turtle and chicken.
Don’t answer back, don’t
spend money on yourself, don’t expect him to push the perambulator, don’t
expect him to do anything he doesn’t want to, don’t do anything he doesn’t want
you to do. Then if you’re not a happy woman, your husband at least will be
comfortable, and his friends will be mad with envy.
And don’t think this is a
joke. It isn’t; it’s advice, and the only way to have a happy home.
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