Many thanks for your support
Firstly my i commend you on you
bravery in Supporting a Gurrier Terrier .... that took guts kid!
Apologies for the delaying in
replying; the moon is in Uranus and I spent a good while barking at it these
last few nights.
A brief history that explains my
mission.
.......My sister gave birth in the
street to five lovely pups this time last year. She got done for littering in
public, which just wasn't fair, and probably got me started in politics - I
just felt I had to do something about this. Stand on my own four feet for what
is right! Granted, my sister is a thoroughbred bitch, but this wasn't on. Those
little pups turned 7 last week; they'll be 10 in August, and they deserve
better. Politics is a dog eat dog business and people say I'm barking mad to
get involved, but I've been led around by people for too long- The dogs in the
street will tell you that!
My manifesto includes the following:
- more transparent pricing policy on
pet foods in supermarket multiples. Cat food consistently gets better shelf
coverage and better pricing. This makes cat ownership more attractive and
discriminates against dogs (and other consumers of dog food).
- an end to the portrayal of dogs as
stupid, hungry layabouts on TV and elsewhere. Scooby-doo is a disgrace; he sold
out the good name of the noble Great Dane for some snacks and a bit of fame. If
elected, I will seek to redress this perception of dogs through better, more
balanced cartoons.
- better screening of those seeking
to study veterinary medicine. Any applicant with fingers larger than a standard
Denny sausage will be barred from training or practising as a vet. As a
transitional measure, existing practising vets with large fingers will be
confined to examining the front end of all small animals (except cats).
- an end to the
"pooper-scoope"r policy. Dogs have a right to poop where they wish
without fear of reprisal. I am supported in this by numerous 'shoe-cleaner'
product manufacturers who have seen their business decline in recent years due
to a lack of good quality, well camouflaged dog shit in the streets.
- likewise, with regard to
"arse-sniffing"; it's part of our culture and an entitlement. I would
like to extend the sniffing policy to cover the sniffing of arses of all
species.
- justice for my cousin Spotty Hund
who was kicked in the arse at the back of a pub by a drunk who though he was a
one-eyed monster walking backwards. Spotty developed complications as a result,
including a half a haemorrhoid - which isn't a whole pile - and now he looks
like a bulldog when he tries to move his bowel.
- registration of the "Gurrier
Terrier" (TM) as a recognised pedigree breed with the Irish Kennel Club
(Gadharchumann na hEireann).
Must dash, as we are going out
looking for the man who shot my Paw
Regards
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