Trouble in the Kingdom of Kerry

It seems there is something rotten going on in the kingdom of Kerry. A ban on hunting female red deer and curlews has at last been imposed on the former beef and chicken eating people of Kerry as their addiction to the more exotic venison and wild poultry became a bit more more rampant; it was also seen by many as sexist to just spare the male deer. 

The curlew (a bird) as well, I am reliably informed, was not shot to be eaten at all but because it was just singing too much. A right racket they threw up in the early mornings. Of course one could argue it was the recession that started all this beef. The minister for Heritage acted quickly when the red deer were nearly wiped clean from the kingdom completely, and there was only 4% of the curlews left. (The hunting season for them was only 4 weeks)

Yet, both species had survived thousands of years on the Killarney hills, and saw the Celts, Vikings, Normans, and the British come and go, and were there before the cry of freedom became a byword to be allowed to shoot anything or anyone that moved at all. Now, all that was left standing in the way from their complete extinction was the freedom loving Kerryman, and the few hunters that came to lend them a hand who were not native Kerry-men themselves. Yes, it needed legislation just to make common sense of it all and stop Kerry-men and others from being deer and curlew serial killers.

All of this reminded me of when I asked a fisherman recently did the seagulls impact much on his catch. He replied with a learned wisdom: ‘Well, they take their share.’ 

Barry Clifford